A Knight to Remember
by Phoenix-chan
Summary: Here we go! Chapter 5. The last chapter is finally up. Thus ends my Gaddes/Allen saga. Anyway, R&R and I might write you people another one. ^_^
1. Knight to remember - Chapter 1

A Knight to Remember

Chapter 1

It was three years since the end of the Gaea War.Allen Schezar was in Asturia, paying his respects to Millerna and her new husband, Dryden.Allen had been away in Freid during the wedding, so this was his first chance to see Millerna after the ceremony.

"Congratulations, Princess," Allen bowed low, kissing her hand."My apologies for being unable to attend your wedding."

From the back of the room, Gaddes watched as his commander showered the princess with formalities._If he cared for me, a fraction of what he cares for her, _Gaddes thought bitterly, _I would be the happiest man alive._But Allen did not know how Gaddes felt about him, and he doubted that even if he did would he reciprocate such feelings.Allen was a man of honor, and such emotions were hardly honorable._Besides,_ Gaddes thought sourly, _Allen would rather waste his affections on that royal bitch, Millerna._

"Allen!We've missed you!"

"Sorry, your highness, but Dryden sent me to Freid, and I was unable to return before your wedding."

Millerna scowled at Dryden.She hadn't wanted to marry him and now he was purposely trying to keep her and Allen apart.

"Dryden!"

"He needed to take care of some things.I thought he would be back in time," the former merchant replied, thoughtfully stroking his stubble.

In reality, Dryden knew that Allen wouldn't be back in time, and that's why he had sent him to Freid.He knew of Millerna's feelings for Allen, and he didn't want her to leave him for the blonde knight at the altar.Even though technically, Dryden and Millerna had already been married, they had a renewal of vows once he returned, and Dryden had sent Allen away to keep Millerna from changing her mind.

"So, Allen, have you told Chid about your relation to him, yet?" Millerna asked.

"No," Allen replied.

"Why not?You were in Freid.You had the opportunity."

"Forgive me if I don't feel the need to ruin Chid's life by telling him that everything that he's ever known was a lie."

"Allen!You're his father!"

"But he doesn't know that.And I doubt he would appreciate it if he did.Now excuse me, I'm going to go see my sister.Come along, Gaddes."

"Yessir boss!"

And with that the two men left the throne room.

When they were gone, Dryden turned to Millerna."Do you still love him, Millerna?"

"Dryden…"

"Do you?"

"What good would it do me even if I did?!He doesn't seem to want me anymore."

"I'm not going to waste my breath by asking if you love me.I already know you don't.Though I don't know why.I'm handsome, smart, wealthy, and I try to be a good husband."

"I'm…sorry, Dryden."

"Bah!Go to him then!If he wants you, then take him as your lover!"

He then stalked out, leaving her alone.

Allen was in the gardens of the palace when he found his sister.

"Celena!" Allen called.

She looked up from the flower she was studying."Allen!" she cried, running to him.

"Are you well?"  
"Yes.How was Freid?"

"Uneventful," he replied, understanding what she was really asking.

"You didn't tell him?"  
"What would I tell him?Any words I could say to him on that subject would only bring him pain.Maybe someday, when he's older, I'll tell him."

"The longer you wait, the longer he'll hate you after he finds out."

"Please, Celena.Allow me to do this in my own way.I already got a lecture from Millerna today."

"Yes.And we all know how much fun that can be," Gaddes cut in.

"Gaddes!" Celena cried, hugging him.

Gaddes smiled."Hello, dear Celena.I trust it wasn't too terrible being cooped up here in the palace?"

"No, it wasn't.But why such formality, Gaddes?"

Gaddes grinned."I think I've been hanging around our boss too long," he said, nudging Allen.

"Heaven forbid any of you show any hint of civility," Allen retorted.

"Boss, can you honestly envision Pyle trying to be civil?"  
Allen laughed. "We couldn't pay Pyle to be civil!"

"I know.Pity too.I would like to see that."

"Allen," Celena began, "Are you going away again soon?"

"I'm going to Fanelia in a few weeks, I think. But I'll take you with me if you like."

"I doubt Van will want me in Fanelia," Celena said, biting her lip.

"What happened then…wasn't your fault," Allen said, pulling her into a brotherly hug.

Gaddes, sensing big emotional matters would be taking place in several moments, turned to go so he wouldn't be obtrusive.

"Gaddes!" Celena called after him.

Gaddes turned.

"Will you join me for dinner tonight?"

"Sure," Gaddes said, forcing a grin.

He knew of Celena's infatuation for him.Now if only he could draw such feelings from her brother…

Dinner was boring.Gaddes had spent the whole thing wishing that Allen hadn't decided to leave him and Celena alone.Celena was a pretty girl.She was nice, and caring as well.If Gaddes was interested in girls, he might even marry her.But Gaddes wanted Allen, not Celena.But he was still civil to her, regardless.

After dinner, Gaddes left Celena and decided to go stargazing on the room.Gaddes hated being indoors.It was too confining.When he got up to the roof, he saw Allen and Millerna.Apparently she has just gotten up there before Gaddes.So, Gaddes did what any normal person in his situation would do.He stayed to listen.

"Princess, you can't ask of me something I have no power to give."

"But Allen, I love you!"

"But I don't love you, Princess.And even if I did, I wouldn't risk war with Asturia by running away with you!"

"You wouldn't have to run away with me!Dryden said I could take you as my lover!"

For a split second the world froze around Gaddes.Even though Allen had told Millerna that he didn't love her, after all his history with the Asturian princesses, Gaddes was afraid that Allen would accept her offer.

"I don't love you, Millerna."

"Why?" she asked, pressing her lips to his, almost as if she was trying to force him to love her.

_Stupid bitch,_ Gaddes thought, _Now you've destroyed any chance you might have had with him.But even so, I really must thank you.Now you've opened up a window of opportunity for me._

Allen shoved Millerna off him.

"Princess, control yourself!"

"But Allen…"

"No, Millerna.Even if you love me, it's wrong for you to force yourself on me."

"Allen…I tried to be Marlene for you…" Millerna said as she ran off.

"She tried to be Marlene…which is something that I never asked for," Allen said with a sigh.

"Anything to get what she wants, eh boss?"

Allen turned to see Gaddes standing there.

"Gaddes!"

"I just caught the tail end of that.She's pushy, isn't she?"  
"You have no idea."

"Maybe not, but I can guess."

Allen sighed."That trip to Fanelia is looking better with each passing moment."

"Yeah, I know.It'll be good for you, boss.You've seemed a bit depressed lately."

"I'm fine, Gaddes.So, how was dinner?"  
"While I appreciate the efforts boss, and I really do, I have to ask: can you please stop trying to set me up with your sister?"

"Set you up?Gaddes, you're practically head over heels with her.And she adores you!"

Gaddes laughed."While I don't doubt that Celena adores me, I'm far from being in love with her, boss."

"But you're always kind to her, you always come with me when I come to see her, and you always help me pick out things for her."

"Yes, boss, I come to see her with you.I help pick out things with you," Gaddes said, becoming increasingly frustrated.

"What are you getting at Gaddes?" Allen asked, completely uncomprehending.

"I don't want your sister, Allen.I want you."

There it was, out in the open.Gaddes realized what he had said the moment the words left his mouth.But it was too late to take them back.Now all Gaddes could do was wait and see how Allen would react.

Allen just stared at Gaddes.He hadn't even suspected that Gaddes felt this way, and the two of them had been working together for so long.He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words.

Gaddes, not surprised by Allen's silence, just walked off, cursing his own stupidity, and mourning for a love that he thought could never truly be.


	2. Knight to Remember - Chapter 2

# Chapter 2

Gaddes was in his room, getting smashed.He couldn't believe he'd actually told Allen how he felt about him.He'd known for years how Allen would react, which is why he'd never said anything before now.But Allen had just made him so damn frustrated that he'd just blurted it out, and probably ruined everything in the process.

Unfortunately for Gaddes, the liquor had not yet taken hold of his brain, so he was still coherent enough to brood on his present situation.He could leave the crew of the Crusade.Allen probably wouldn't object after what had happened tonight.But the rest of the men would object, or at least Teo, Kio, and Pyle would.And they were his best friends.He could try to force himself straight, and in doing so, hopefully forget about Allen.Of course, with Gaddes' luck, he would probably end up dating Celena Schezat and then his feelings would never go away.Or, he could act as if he hadn't said anything, which was probably what Allen was going to do.

_But any way you look at it, I'm fucked,_ Gaddes thought bitterly.

Little did Gaddes know what effects his confession was going to have.

While Gaddes was trying to drink himself into oblivion, Allen was brooding over the confession that Gaddes had made.It scared him in a way, because this meant that men, as well as women, desired him.It meant that _Gaddes_ desired him.Allen never even thought about a relationship with another man, and now Gaddes was professing his undying lust for him.That was all Allen thought it was.He honestly didn't think it went any deeper than that.He'd heard Gaddes talk freely about his sex life.He just never realized that he was talking about men.

Allen started getting panicky.If men, particularly Gaddes, found Allen desirable, did that mean that he would start feeling that way about other men?What would people say about him if that happened?Allen didn't want to think about that.He needed to do something to reaffirm his masculinity.

So he did the most logical thing that he could think of.

He decided to take Millerna up on her offer.And it was that decision that changed everything.

Millerna was in her room, pouting.She couldn't believe that Allen had turned her down.Did he _want_ her to be unhappy?Surely he was as lonely and miserable as she was after Hitomi left him.Of course, Millerna was glad that Hitomi was gone, because that meant that Allen was all hers again.But the only problem was that Allen didn't seem to want her anymore.She didn't understand why.

"Maybe he was just on edge from his trip to Freid.Or maybe he was just upset that I actually married Dryden," Millerna said, trying to rationalize Allen's behavior to herself.

Obviously he couldn't mean that he didn't love her.He had to still love her.He loved her sister, so why didn't he love her?

"It doesn't make any sense," she muttered.

She was still brooding over it when she heard a knock on her door.

"Who is it?"

"Princess, may I come in?" Allen's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Of course, Allen," Millerna said, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.

He walked in, strode over to her, and bowed low in deep respect,

"I'd like to apologize for my words earlier, Princess.I didn't mean to be so unkind to you."

_He spoke formally,_ Millerna noted._He must really want to be forgiven._

"I forgive you, Allen," she said, looking down at him.

He straightened up and looked at her.His mind was at odds with his heart over what to do.In his heart, he knew he didn't love her.But then, who did he love?The answer was too frightening to contemplate.But in his mind he was scared.Gaddes' admission terrified Allen, and this was the best way he knew to make himself feel safe.His mind was waging war with his heart, and he didn't know which one would win.

Millerna looked questioningly at Allen.He was just standing there staring at her.She had no way to tell what he was thinking.She wanted him to kiss her, and if he didn't soon, she'd kiss him.

Allen finally decided that this was what he needed to do, and he pulled Millerna into his arms.

"Allen," she murmured.

He said nothing.He started leaning towards her in order to kiss her.His heart protested, screaming for him not to do this.Telling him that he didn't love her, and that this would only cause pain for both of them.But at the moment, Allen Schezar wasn't paying attention to his heart.As his lips met hers, he had know way of knowing that he had just set the wheels of fate in motion.

When he finally let her go, Millerna looked at Allen.

"Does this mean what I think it does?" she asked with a smile.

"It means I'm taking you up on your proposition, Your Highness."

"Please, Allen.If we're going to be together, then there's no need to be so formal.You know my name."

"Of course…Millerna."

They had sex that night.Millerna thoroughly enjoyed herself.Allen did not.He had been with Millerna once before, and her sister before that.He could not say why he didn't enjoy it.Doing this was supposed to make him feel better.But it only made him feel empty.Maybe it was because he didn't love Millerna.Or maybe it was because he was still shaken up from his encounter with Gaddes.Whichever it was, he hoped that he would feel better soon.

The next day, after getting Allen out of her room, Millerna went to see Dryden.He was talking with a palace aide when she walked in, so she had the good grace to wait her turn.

"Dryden," she said once the aide was gone.

"Yes, Millerna?"

"I came to tell you that you and I won't be sleeping in the same bed anymore."

Dryden laughed."Like I ever slept with you in the same bed to begin with!" he exclaimed with a touch of bitterness in his voice."Though I suppose this revelation is because you were finally able to seduce Allen?"  
"I didn't seduce him!We love each other!"

"_I_ love you, Millerna.Allen is just doing this for you because he feels obligated to do so.And you're still enthralled in this childish infatuation you have for him."

"Dryden!"

"I can't force you to love me, Millerna.And even though I'm a merchant, your love is the one thing I can't buy.I can only hope that one day you outgrow these feelings you have for Allen."

"Why did you marry me if you knew how I felt?"

"If I remember correctly, this marriage was originally your idea."

"That was out of necessity!We needed it during the war!"

Dryden sighed."I never should have come back," he said."You probably would've been happier that way."

"Dryden…"

"I do love you, Millerna.And I hope, for your sake at least, that your knight feels the same way."

Millerna said nothing.There was nothing more to say.


	3. Knight to Remember - Chapter 3

# Chapter 3

Three months had passed.During those months, Gaddes hadn't talked much to Allen.However, he had watched him.He observed what Allen was doing, whom he was seeing, and where he was going.But more importantly, he listened.He was hearing things about Allen.Of course, with what had been happening in the past months, their words didn't really surprise him.

For example: Allen had moved into the palace.Millerna had passed that move off as saying that Allen was being made not only the leader of the Knights of Heaven, but also the "Royal Bodyguard."_Useful title,_ Gaddes thought bitterly._But he's guarding her body, all right._

Another thing Gaddes had noticed was the way Allen had taken to following Millerna around.His new "position" practically required him to do so, but the way he trotted after her was sickening.Even when Allen was lusting after Hitomi he wasn't that bad.It was almost as if Allen was doing this because he'd forgotten any other way.

Also, in the past months, Allen hadn't had much contact with the rest of his friends from the _Crusade_.The crew had not only seen Allen's odd new behavior, but they'd heard first hand accounts from Gaddes, who managed to get closer to Allen then any of the rest of them could.They didn't like being ignored by their commander, and what they'd been hearing from Gaddes forced them to wonder if they could take orders from him anymore.

Then there was Millerna herself.She seemed to be falling for Dryden, but she was still doing Allen on the side.She was using Allen as her personal entertainment while she and Dryden worked on their relationship.Gaddes didn't know what had happened to make the princess want to further her and Dryden's relationship, and he honestly didn't care.The only thing that bothered him was that she was keeping Allen from him.And Gaddes didn't understand why she would need to do that if she seemed to want to patch things up with Dryden so much.

_She's more of a whore than Allen is,_ Gaddes thought bitterly.

But whore or not, she was still doing it.And Gaddes just watched.He watched and he didn't do anything, because he couldn't even seem to get close enough to approach Allen.Or maybe he didn't want to, because he was scared of Allen might say.Or maybe he was afraid of getting rejected again.So he kept quiet.And he decided that he would stay quiet until he had a reason not to.And once he went out on the streets, and heard what people were saying, he certainly had a reason.

Gaddes was walking through Palas' marketplace.He stopped when he overheard two men discussing Allen.

"Did you see the 'Captain of the Guard' today?" the first one asked.

"Yah," the other one said."He was in his normal state, following the princess around like a lapdog."

Gaddes could hear the disgust in their voices.He felt the same way when he watched Allen's new behavior.He just hadn't said anything.

"You know the princess is thinking of letting him go."

"Heh.Just like a woman to destroy a man's honor just for her sick amusement."

"What a sad state of affairs."

There was more to their conversation, but Gaddes didn't hear it.It was one thing for Millerna to be doing any of this in the first place.But now she was going to cut Allen's leash as well?Gaddes didn't mind that at all, but he knew that Allen wouldn't know what to do with himself anymore if she did that.And what exactly did "let him go" mean?Was she going to fire Allen, or simply demote him to his former post?Either decision would cause the people to talk about Allen more than they already were.Gaddes knew what he had to do.He needed to talk to Millerna.

"Gaddes, what can I do for you?" Millerna asked.

"You can dismiss your knight for starters," he said coldly, not even looking at Allen.

"If you want an audience with me, Sergeant, you'll have to have it in the presence of my bodyguard."

"Well, seeing how it concerns your bodyguard, I don't think he'd want to be here," Gaddes said bluntly."Besides, this isn't an audience.It's 2 people talking like adults," a smirk crossed Gaddes' features."Or at least I hoped it would be."

Gaddes' disrespect caused Millerna's eyes to go wide in shock.Of course, it didn't surprise her too much.While she did have respect for Allen's men, especially after the war, the fact remained that they had all the manners of drunken pirates most of the time.And that included Gaddes.

"Your highness, do you want me to remove him?" Allen asked tonelessly.

Allen's words cut Gaddes like a knife, but he made sure the emotion didn't show on his face.Or at least he thought he did.Millerna recognized Gaddes' expression.It was one that she herself had worn one too many times when dealing with Allen.And it was that expression that made her decide to talk with Gaddes without Allen around.

"Allen, you may go," she said.

Allen bowed, looking questioningly at Gaddes, before leaving the room.

"Why are you doing this to him?" Gaddes asked once Allen was gone.

"I'm not doing anything that he isn't doing to himself, Gaddes."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Millerna.Hw never followed you around slavishly before now."

"I never asked him to, Gaddes.He just does that.It's like he's been possessed or something."

"Why do you let him do it then?"

"What am I supposed to do, Gaddes?Tell him he doesn't need to be so attached to me?First of all, I like the attention, and secondly, he feels as if it's part of his duty."

"Then why are you thinking about letting him go?"  
"As much as I like the attention, Gaddes, I can't handle it sometimes.Besides, Dryden said if we want this relationship to work, then I have to stop…using Allen."

"I'm pretty sure that isn't the wording he used," Gaddes said with a smirk.

"Anyway, I'm thinking of letting Allen go back to his original position for that reason, and because even though I like all the attention I'm getting from him, I can't stand seeing him like this anymore."

"At least you have some honor, princess.But he won't know what to do with himself.But I'll handle that. Do you know what the people have been saying about him?"

"No," Millerna said.

"They're essentially calling him your bitch.And I have to do an awful lot to keep the men loyal to Allen.They haven't seen him in months.And they're beginning to lose faith in him.You can't hold onto this childhood dream of you and Allen forever, Millerna.If you do, it will destroy him."

"I'll let him go, Gaddes, but I will do it in my own time."

"As you will, Millerna," Gaddes said with a sigh."I should've known that I wouldn't be able to change your mind."

"And what will you do after I set him free, Gaddes?"

"What I've always done, Princess.Be there to catch him when he falls.If he'll let me," Gaddes said, turning to go.

"I hope he doesn't reject you Gaddes," Millerna called after him.

Gaddes froze.When he spoke, his voice was low, but Millerna heard the words."That's problem, princess.He already has…for you."

Before Millerna could say anything else, Gaddes left the room.

Hours later, Gaddes was on the roof of the palace, staring at the stars.He had talked to the men after his conversation with Millerna.They had made a decision.And while he didn't like it, he would support it.Suddenly, an angry voice tore him from his thoughts.

"Are you the one who told her to fire me, Gaddes?" Allen snarled.

"She was thinking of doing that without me saying anything, Boss.Did she actually go through with it?" Gaddes asked casually, turning to face a very pissed Allen.

"Yes.She said that although I was to retain my position as the leader of the Knights of Heaven, my services as Royal Bodyguard were no longer required."

"You were certainly guarding her body, Allen," Gaddes spat.

"How dare you say such a thing!?"

"If you wish, you can blame Pyle.He was the first one to say it.But please, Allen, everyone knows you were fucking her."

Allen's eyes widened in shock and he glared at his first mate.

"Why do you look so surprised?You know it's true.You also should know what people think of you.The people of Asturia used to respect you.Now they see you as a whore.The princess' high class whore, perhaps, but a whore all the same."

"Gaddes, do you know the consequences of what you're saying?!"  
"Do you know the consequences of you trotting behind Millerna like a dog in heat are?!" Gaddes countered."Allen, in three months you've managed to destroy any honor you had.You've managed to lose any respect that the people had for you.The men say they can't follow a man who is so pussy whipped that he can't think for himself.And even though I love you, neither can I.The _Crusade_ is leaving Asturia in three days under my command.I just thought you would like to know."

Allen's mouth dropped open slightly in surprise."That's mutiny!" he cried once he regained his voice.

"The men decided what they wanted, Allen.Mutiny or not, I'm inclined to agree with them."

"Gaddes!"

"Maybe you can follow a person blindly because you love them.But I can't.Not anymore.I've done it for far too long.And I can't stay here in Asturia and watch you do this to yourself anymore.That's why I'm leaving.And maybe someday, when you're out of that bitch's spell, you'll understand."

And then Gaddes was gone, and Allen was left to ponder what he had said.


	4. Knight to Remember - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Allen was in his room, still dazed over what Gaddes had said.First of all, the men, his men, were planning a mutiny against him.But more than that, Gaddes loved him.Gaddes loved him?!He shoved that thought away.He wasn't quite ready to deal with that yet.But then he was at an impasse, for in order to deal with this mutiny, he had to deal with Gaddes.

Allen sighed.Everything has been so much easier before Gaddes had said anything about having feelings for him.But once Gaddes admitted that, everything changed.Allen didn't know what to think, or what to do, and that put him right back where he was when this whole mess began, except this time he couldn't go running to Millerna for comfort.Not that she had actually comforted him in any way.All she had succeeded in doing was making him feel empty.The entire 3 months he'd been sleeping with her, he felt like something was missing.

But what?Allen still didn't want to contemplate that his feelings for Gaddes might be more than friendship.And he didn't want to talk to Gaddes for fear of what might be said.But Allen had to talk to Gaddes, of that there was no doubt.

Gaddes stood, looking out of the main window on the bridge of the _Crusade_, staring off into space, when he heard Kio's voice pull him out of his thoughts.

"Boss?"

"Kio, have I told you about calling me boss?"

"Sorry, Sarge."

There was silence between them for a few moments, before Kio finally broke it.

"You're thinking about the boss again, ain't you Gaddes?"  
Gaddes turned slowly to look at Kio.Kio hadn't actually called him by his name in years, but that wasn't what caused him to turn.

"Kio, why would I be thinking about the boss?"

"Come on, Gaddes!Do you think I, or any of the others are dense?We know how you feel about the boss!"

Gaddes stared at his friend.

"What are you talking about Kio?"  
"Come on, Sarge!I know how you look at the boss.You look at the boss the way the boss looks at a woman.Everyone on the ship knows you want him."

"It's more than want, Kio."

"Heh.I bet.But you ain't gonna get him just standin' here."

"He's given his body to Millerna," Gaddes said, making a face.

"I know," Kio said with a smirk."You should just forget about him, Gaddes.We'll find you a nice guy once the _Crusade_ reaches its new destination."

"Are we doing the right thing, Kio?Is this mutiny of ours the right thing to be doing?"

The grin left Kio's face."For yeas we followed the boss, Gaddes," he began."That hasn't changed.But with the way he is now…Allen ain't the boss anymore.We don't know what that bitch did to him, but he ain't the man we pledged our service to anymore."

Gaddes nodded.He knew that Kio was right.

"So we move out in 3 days?"  
"Yeah."

"Do we have a set course, Kio?"  
"Well, originally, we were planning on going to Fanelia, but that was on a diplomatic mission and also for Allen to see the king."

"We're not going to Fanelia.We have no reason to anymore."

"Well then, where to Sarge?"

"How 'bout we go to Basram?We haven't been there in a while."

Kio nodded and walked off to tell the rest of the crew the change of orders.He knew why Gaddes wanted to go to Basram.He probably wanted to get as far from Asturia as possible, and Basram certainly fit that description.

The next day, Gaddes was sitting on the bridge of the _Crusade_ alone, and drinking the strongest Asturian whiskey that he was able to afford.

"So we're off to Basram," he said out loud to no one but himself."When we get there, I guess it will be just be another few nights of warm drinks and cold sex before we move on."

Gaddes was still a victim of sobriety, but he was trying rather hard to change that.He probably would have succeeded if Pyle hadn't come in.

"Sarge?"  
"What, Pyle?"  
"The boss is here to see you."

Gaddes whacked the side of his head to make sure he was hearing right.

"I must be drunker than I thought.Repeat that.I thought I heard you say Allen was here."

"I did.He is.And he wants to see you."

"All right," Gaddes said, blinking and downing the rest of his liquor."Show him in."

Pyle left and came back with Allen several minutes later.Then he left them alone, almost definitely going off to tell the others.

"Come to stop the mutiny?" Gaddes spat once Pyle had gone.

"Yes," Allen admitted, "but I also came to talk to you."

"What more is there to talk about?I think we've said everything that needs to be said."

"We need to talk about your feelings," Allen said.

"My feelings?"Gaddes laughed."Since when have you given a damn about my feelings, Allen?!"  
"Since you decided to betray your friends and your country!"

Gaddes shook his head."You know, Allen, for someone who always seems to know the right thing to say to women, you certainly don't know what to say to me."

"Gaddes!"

"What, Allen?!How long is it gonna be til you get it that I've been in love with you for years?!Why do you think I've stayed by you, fought with you, and bled with you for so damn long?!!Why do you think I watched as you led on Millerna, pursued Hitomi, and sweet-talked dozens of other women?But as I've said, I can't watch anymore.I've seen enough, and so has the rest of the crew.That's why we decided to leave."

"But all of you pledged allegiance to Asturia!"

"You didn't hear a word I just said!We never pledged allegiance to Asturia, Allen!We pledged allegiance to you!I pledged allegiance to you!"

"Gaddes…"

"What?I already know how you feel, Allen.You made that perfectly clear when you started trotting after Millerna!"

"Damn you, Gaddes, I don't know how I feel!" Allen shouted, finally losing his temper.

Gaddes looked at Allen and blinked.He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Don't patronize me, Allen," he said quietly, not wanting to get his hopes up.

"I'm not.When you said you had feelings for me, I got scared.I didn't know how to cope with it.So I ran to Millerna.I thought she could make me feel better, but she didn't.She just made me feel empty.And after she and Dryden began getting closer, the feeling just got worse."

"Then why did you stay in that position?Why did you let her use you like that?"  
"Because I was still scared.I didn't want to deal with the fact that you claimed to have feelings for me.And I definitely didn't want to deal with the fact that I might return those feelings, to an extent."

Gaddes arched an eyebrow and looked at Allen."To an extent?"  
Allen nodded.

Gaddes allowed a grin to cross his features."I guess I'll take what I can get for now, if you mean what you're saying."

"I do."

"Well then, how about we go to my room to talk about this, boss?"  
"Your room?" Allen asked, smiling a bit.Gaddes was calling him boss again, that was definitely a good sign.

"My room," Gaddes confirmed.

"Won't the men suspect anything?"

Gaddes smirked."Still worried about that, Allen?Most of the men know I've been trying to get you into my bed for years, and the ones that don't soon will once Pyle finishes telling them."

"Don't tell me this is just about sex, Gaddes?"

"Of course it isn't, Allen.I wouldn't be making such a big deal about this if it were.But I'm not expecting a one-night stand.I'm not having my heart broken by you again.Now come on," Gaddes said, and he walked out.

Allen swallowed, but followed Gaddes to his room.


	5. Knight to Remember - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

The sun filtering in through the window and shining across his eyes was what woke Gaddes up.He was about to get up and throw a pillow at the damn thing, when he realized that Allen was lying there in bed beside him and both of them were naked.

Gaddes smiled.He hadn't meant or expected it to go as far as it had last night.He wasn't complaining.Allen had just caught him off guard.It had started innocently enough, with a simple kiss from Gaddes to Allen.It had turned in to something far more than either of them had imagined.

"I love you, Allen," Gaddes whispered to the Knight's prone form.

Allen didn't stir, but Gaddes hoped that after last night Allen would return the feelings.

The sun was still bothering Gaddes, but with Allen next to him in his bed, he felt less of an inclination to move.He knew he was gonna get it from the men later on, but that didn't matter at the moment.This wasn't later on; it was now.And he was planning on enjoying now.

Allen stirred next to Gaddes, and sat up.He saw his second in command lying next to him and staring at him.

"Good morning, Allen."

"Gaddes…"

"Don't tell me you're having regrets."

"No, I'm not.It's just you, and me, and…"

"If you think it's hard to believe, then you should try looking at it from my point of view.I've been dreaming of this moment for years."

"Gaddes…"

"I love you, Allen," Gaddes said, leaning in and kissing Allen.

It was a soft kiss, full of passion and Allen returned it, and deepened it, much to Gaddes' delight.

"Is this going to turn into what it did last night?" Gaddes asked, a wry grin dancing across his face.

Allen blushed."Gaddes, last night…"

"Was fucking incredible, wasn't it?"  
Allen blinked."That's one way of putting it, I suppose."

"You were the one who initiated it if I remember correctly, Allen.So don't make it sounds as if you didn't like it."

"I never said I didn't like it.I don't quite know how to put it."

Gaddes took a breath, about to ask a question, and then fell silent._Give him time,_ he told himself._He'll tell you he loves you in due time._But Gaddes didn't want to wait.He wanted to hear it from Allen now.But he forced himself to wait.Love was a delicate thing.And forced love wasn't really love at all.So Gaddes would wait, no matter how much he didn't want to.

"You know, we're going to have to get up soon.The men will start talking if we don't," Allen said.

"The men are already gonna talk, but I'm gonna hear it more than you are.Especially from Pyle, Kio, and Teo."

"Are you still going to leave, Gaddes?"

Gaddes closed his eyes for a minute.

"We're back to that, are we?"

"Do you really have a reason to?"

"Maybe.Did last night just happen because you didn't want me to leave?"

"No.Last night happened because we're both consenting adults that have feelings for each other."

Gaddes sighed.He had the feeling that that was the closest that he was going to get to an "I love you" from Allen.At least for a while.

"So answer the question, Gaddes.Are you still going to leave?"  
"I think the better question is do I have a reason to?I'm not going to be just another one-night stand, Allen.Last night didn't happen so I could be just another person in a long line of good fucks.And if that's all it's going to be, then I have no reason to stay around."

"That's not all it's going to be."

"How do I know that?"

There was silence as Allen thought about how to answer that.He knew what he felt for Gaddes, but he was scared to put it into words.The last time he had put feelings like this into words, it had resulted in an illegitimate child, and his lover being married off to another, regardless of how he felt.Of course, having children wit Gaddes was next to impossible and he didn't see Gaddes being married off to anyone.

"Allen?" Gaddes prompted.

"It's not going to turn out that way," Allen said.

"Why?"

"Because I love you Gaddes."

There.The words had been said.Allen could only wait for Gaddes' reaction.As for Gaddes, his eyes lit up.Those were the words he'd been longing to hear.He could only hope Allen meant them.

"I love you too, boss."

The kissed then, and it was full of tenderness and meant more than any kiss Allen has ever received before.

It was noon before Allen and Gaddes came out of Gaddes' room.They were dressed and showered and they went up to the bridge.The whistles and catcalls started the moment Gaddes walked in with Allen at his heels.

"Late night, Sarge?" Kio asked with a huge grin on his face.

"Oh do shut up, Kio," Gaddes said."Listen up you dirtbags!The boss has finally come to his senses.That means no mutiny.It also means that we're probably going to Fanelia as originally planned."

This statement met with loud groans from the crew, who were looking forward to some downtime in Basram.Of course, Pyle was the first one to say something.

"Damn, Gaddes, did you two even fuck, or did you spend the whole night yapping?"  
"Unlike you, Pyle, I know what a tongue is for," Gaddes retorted, which met with snickering from the rest of the crew.

"So which one of you is the woman in the relationship, Sarge?" Teo asked.

"That's enough!" Allen exclaimed, answering before Gaddes could say anything.Gaddes noted that Allen had turned quite an interesting shade of red.

"So, what are our orders, boss?" Kio asked Allen.

"We're going to Fanelia.And then we're coming home."

"Aye aye, sir!"

"Will Celena be joining us, Allen?" Gaddes asked.

"Yes," Allen said thoughtfully."I think it's about time that Celena saw Van."

Their trip to Fanelia passed with relatively little incident.Celena saw Van, and the two of them talked for hours into the night.A few eyebrows were raised regarding Allen and Gaddes' behavior towards one another, but nothing was actually said until Allen was seen kissing Gaddes by Merle.A long explanation followed, which was then followed by some jokes from Van and lewd comments from the rest of the men.But it didn't matter to Allen and Gaddes.They were too happy to care.

—Owari—

Author's notes:Well, that's it.Unless you people want more.Then I'll contemplate writing it.I hope you enjoyed this.Please R&R!! 


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